Skip to main content

Scars

Steam Community :: :: Never Ending Hell (Cry Of Fear)




4:30…

An image of yesterday keeps recurring on this eternal present as I sit on this plank that looks like a bench in my park. It used to be our park, but now it’s just mine. In not so far away from where I sit, I see images of how we used to be. Images so clear and etched in my memories that the gravity of my thoughts and emotions forces it to appear in the present... 

Very light drizzles of rain are pouring down but the good thing is that the soul tree is there to somewhat shade me from the frosty drizzles. Majestic tree, I thank thee eternally.

I called in sick today, not that I am physically sick – but my brain and heart are crazily spiraling inside me. I am sick in my soul and it is no less better than any physical disease there is. Anyway, I already told my boss of my plan and it really doesn’t matter anymore if I still adhere to policies or not. Nothing matters anyway.

While I was lost in my thoughts, Scars on Broadway started playing in my ipod… The classic guitar plucking intro never fails to pull me into a state of emptiness… While listening to the transition of notes, I was being sucked into a vacuum of infinite melancholy…

Is there anybody here? Who hears me crying? I’m dying?


It is a painful place but it’s peaceful as well. I never thought that it’s actually possible to find momentary peace in your pain. I have drawn the line on sand where not even the waves can reach it. Nobody’s here… no one will ever be here… I’ve got to learn that now.

Just passing the time, wondering how two people will ever survive… 

I haven’t been out in the morning for a long time. My light brown eyes have always been sensitive to light, most especially now that I have stayed in the darkness, sitting for a very long time. The creepy thing about being in the dark is that you lose sight of not just the physical realities surrounding you, but also you lose track of time. Lying there seems like forever. Asking questions about why I deserve to be damned like this.

whoring down your whoring streets, it’s killing You while you're killing me 

It's time, to show all you people you'll never survive 

Whoring down your whoring street, it’s Killing you while you're killing me. 

Well I am not a whore. (thanks for pointing that out Scars on Broadway). 

And you see where I’m heading with this? Nothing.

I just want to write cuz I don’t know what to do anymore.

Thanks for reading.

Is there anybody here?

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Curse of Being Good at Context

I’ve been thinking about how good I am at understanding people. Call me an airhead and proud, but really, I am good at it. Maybe too good. It’s like my brain is wired to read between the lines, catch the half-hidden sighs, the subtle shifts in tone. I can sense when someone’s tired before they say it, when a smile is just a mask, when words are doing damage beneath the surface. And I do it so naturally that I barely notice I’m doing it. I make excuses for people before anyone else even feels the sting.  They didn’t mean it.  They’re hurting.  It’s not personal.   I rehearse their backstories and soften their edges, as if by understanding them better, I can protect myself from being hurt. But here’s the thing I’m only now starting to admit to myself: while I’m fluent in everyone else’s pain, I’m utterly mute about my own. When I withdraw, I hear the word “cold.” When I set a boundary, it’s “too much.” When I flinch at a careless comment, I’m “overreacting.” No one ...

A Blank Verse Poetry

I ran this morning. Gray sky, nothing special. Weather that doesn’t force you to feel anything. Usually, I wander without purpose. Today, something stopped me. Time is a trap. We pretend it’s limited, but it isn’t. So we rush through it—steps, choices, life—until it all blurs. The small things disappear. The smell of earth, the quiet air. Gone. A song got stuck in my head. “I’ll stop the world and melt with you.” Unwanted. Persistent. How did it get in? Maybe fate. Maybe nothing. I don’t believe in destiny, but here I was—stuck in the sound, stuck in a loop. The world paused inside me. I didn’t move. The day went on. Hands trembled—not from connection, but from the weight of existing. Scars on skin—maps of past failures. Nothing clean, nothing clear. I touched a cheek. No softness. Smoke? Habit? Grip loosened—like sanity slipping. Wanting to let go, but afraid of the emptiness that follows. I kissed a cheek. A stupid move. A laugh broke the silence. A glitch. A mistake. Coffee a...

Stars and Songs

It’s 2 am and I am still awake. Though I had a long nap this afternoon, for some reason, my stubborn brain suddenly erupts in these manic streaks. My mind suddenly reboots itself and in a couple of minutes, I become as hyper as a kid who just ate 27 chocolate bars.  Since it’s pointless to lie down and struggle to find the best position, I took my laptop, go out at the porch and started writing. As sat there, I looked at the heavens and there shines my moon together with the stars. The sky was barren of clouds and you can perfectly see how the earth is blanketed by the dark sky as the moon and the stars gave it an enchanting touch.  The moon’s light is waning, so are my thoughts. I guess I am lunatic as I can write lots whenever the moon goes full. I consider the moon as my muse so I wondered, Why can't I shift my obsession to the stars?  I think this is quite improbable. Stars are illusions, I mean, most of the time, the light that we see from these stars are actually t...