Fragments of the Quiet Mind

May bahid kabaliwang pumapasok sa isipan sa tuwing ang tulog sa gabi ay di nakakamit.  Madalas, inaalala ang napanaginipan sa katatapos na gabi habang pinapakiramdaman ang malamyang ihip ng hangin na dumadampi sa mga pisngi. Di maiiwasan na ang kaabikat nito ay ang kalungkutang makikita sa mahinahong sayaw ng mga dahon sa awiting mapangaraping kaluluwa lang ang nakakasaksi. Sa pangarap sila’y padipang naipako –Pilit inaabot ang panaginip subalit lumulutang sa kawalan ang pag-asang masilayan pa ito… dahil sa pangangarap, pikit kanilang mga mata. Sa pagkakapikit, idinuduyan sila palayo sa realidad at patungo sa kapayapaang dulot ng kahimbingan… Kabaliwan… At lango sa katahimikang Kadiliman lang ang makapag bibigay.

It’s 2 am and I am still awake. Though I had a long nap this afternoon, for some reason, my stubborn brain suddenly erupts in these manic streaks. My mind suddenly reboots itself and in a couple of minutes, I become as hyper as a kid who just ate 27 chocolate bars.  Since it’s pointless to lie down and struggle to find the best position, I took my laptop, go out at the porch and started writing. As sat there, I looked at the heavens and there shines my moon together with the stars. The sky was barren of clouds and you can perfectly see how the earth is blanketed by the dark sky as the moon and the stars gave it an enchanting touch.  The moon’s light is waning, so are my thoughts. I guess I am lunatic as I can write lots whenever the moon goes full. I consider the moon as my muse so I wondered, Why can't I shift my obsession to the stars?  I think this is quite improbable. Stars are illusions, I mean, most of the time, the light that we see from these stars are actually t...

The world is loud.  Deafening, actually.  It’s as if every corner of existence conspires to shatter the eardrums, pushing us to the brink of sensory overload. The noise isn’t just external—it worms its way into the cracks of your thoughts, twisting what should be moments of creativity into something dull, something restless. The kind of noise that fills the spaces where silence should live, leaving you tangled in distractions that don’t really matter. Some people deal with it by posing for the camera, posting selfies, or lying down, scrolling through meaningless quotes on Facebook and Twitter—lines they probably don’t even fully grasp. And then, there are those who let the noise in until it swallows them whole, becoming the very thing that keeps the rest of us awake at night. But honestly, that clamor pales in comparison to the one inside my head. I’ve always been a reflective thinker, maybe even too reflective, lost in ideas that don’t quite make sense even to me. (Okay, I’ll...

7 minutes to midnight.  Another day is creeping in, and yet, I’m still here, awake. After 13 hours of grinding away, 20 hours without sleep,  I’m beyond tired—drained, really, in ways I don’t even have the energy to describe. Nighttime is supposed to be a refuge. A moment when your body heals, when your mind lets go. By now, most people are deep in sleep, tucked in with someone, dreaming of things that don’t really matter but feel comforting all the same. I envy them, honestly. But tonight, it’s different.  There’s no soft comfort,  no calm to sink into.  Just this tug-of-war with my thoughts, a restlessness that doesn’t care how exhausted I am. The pillow? It’s just another part of the problem. I should be winding down by now, but instead, I’m out on the balcony. Coffee in one hand, laptop in the other. There’s a drizzle, and the cold bites a little more than I expected.  The stillness out here isn’t peaceful—it’s heavy, thick with that kind of loneliness ...