Fragments of the Quiet Mind

There are goodbyes that shatter, and then there are silences that echo. Not all endings announce themselves. Some just slip quietly into the background — like static you stop noticing until you realize the music’s been gone for a while. No slammed doors, no explanations. Just a gradual erasure, like watching ink fade from a letter you read too many times. You keep checking your phone, not because you expect a message, but because some part of you still hopes silence can be broken like a fever. Unspoken words hang heavier than shouted ones. The things we never said take on lives of their own — mutating into doubts, rewrites, what-ifs. You rehearse arguments you'll never have, play both sides until you forget which one was yours. And isn’t that the cruelty of silence? That it offers no shape to mourn, no moment to collapse against? Just a formless absence where meaning used to live. Closure is a myth we invented to survive unfinished stories. But silence — silence tells you there was...

Losing your keys is the quiet rebellion of order against itself. At first, it feels like life has hiccuped. The kind of rupture so small it shouldn’t matter, yet manages to unhinge everything. You check your bag three times, then the counter, then the jacket you haven’t worn in a week. It's not about the keys anymore. It's about what their absence unravels. Because keys aren't just metal. They are continuity. They are the mundane rituals that trick us into believing the world makes sense — that if you follow the same path each day, you'll arrive somewhere familiar. But when keys disappear, the path collapses. Suddenly you’re not just late—you’re disoriented, unmoored, estranged from your own routine. And in that moment, a door becomes a symbol. Not of what's locked, but of how little you understand your own thresholds. How many doors have you opened without knowing what they kept out? How many times have you walked in without noticing what you left behind? The l...

What happens when purpose is too small—and still too heavy? There’s a paperclip on my desk that hasn’t held anything together in weeks. It just lies there—twisted slightly, one end stretched from some past insistence. It used to bind pages, serve a purpose. Now it just listens. I wonder if it remembers. How strange that something designed to be useful becomes unsettling when it’s still. That its inaction feels like failure, even though it hasn't broken, hasn't rusted. It's just... unneeded. We call objects "idle" when they are not in use, as if their worth depends on being occupied. As if stillness is only ever temporary, and silence is a flaw to be fixed. The paperclip hasn’t moved in days, but neither have I. I sit here most mornings, staring at a blank document, wondering if I’ve bent myself out of shape trying to hold things that were never mine to keep. Expectations. Deadlines. People. Ideas. I used to think I was built for connection. But maybe I was j...

It’s raining and I’m sitting in a bus going somewhere—somewhere vague enough to feel like progress but familiar enough to make me question if I’m just looping through life on autopilot. The windows are fogged, people are half-asleep or pretending to be, and outside, the rain politely ruins everyone’s plans. I glance at the umbrella tucked beside my seat. It's smug today. Useful. Fulfilled. Finally, it gets to do its one job. No more sulking in dark corners of my bag like some emotionally neglected sidekick. Today, it’s a hero. Rain? Bring it. Wind? Let’s tango. But then I wonder: What about the days it never gets opened? Three sunny days in a row, I still carried it like a nervous habit—just in case the sky changed its mind. And on those days, did it feel... betrayed? Like it wore its best water-resistant outfit for nothing? Like it practiced its unfolding motion all night and then got ghosted by the clouds? Do umbrellas spiral into existential crises when the weather app lies?...

7 minutes to midnight.  Another day is creeping in, and yet, I’m still here, awake. After 13 hours of grinding away, 20 hours without sleep,  I’m beyond tired—drained, really, in ways I don’t even have the energy to describe. Nighttime is supposed to be a refuge. A moment when your body heals, when your mind lets go. By now, most people are deep in sleep, tucked in with someone, dreaming of things that don’t really matter but feel comforting all the same. I envy them, honestly. But tonight, it’s different.  There’s no soft comfort,  no calm to sink into.  Just this tug-of-war with my thoughts, a restlessness that doesn’t care how exhausted I am. The pillow? It’s just another part of the problem. I should be winding down by now, but instead, I’m out on the balcony. Coffee in one hand, laptop in the other. There’s a drizzle, and the cold bites a little more than I expected.  The stillness out here isn’t peaceful—it’s heavy, thick with that kind of loneliness ...

I'm really not into waiting... in fact, i detest it. At this moment, i am waiting for the rain to stop (because i'm too vain to bring my umbrella when i left the house this morning. I kinda thought that my my prophetic prowess can control the weather.) As I gaze at unfamiliar faces, it's kinda silly how they attempt to run through the rain when in fact, it's futile to brave this kind of weather. People rushing to go home, all too busy with their matters-of-consequences...  Pitying these people as i try to Justify the Cartesian idea that these people are engrossed with nothing but metaphysical illusions of reality. Do their matters of consequences really matter? The heck...agawid ak ketdin.