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Orange



I can feel it again—the manic energy creeping in. 

My mind races, irrational thoughts spinning like a wheel with no brake, teeth grinding without reason, muscles twitching on their own, and these smiles... smiles that have no reason to exist. Maybe it’s just the anxiety for tomorrow’s competition. I wish I could relax, but there’s a restlessness building inside me, impossible to ignore. 

I’m so nervous... it’s a mess... whew.

Sitting still feels like a trap—like paranoia gnawing at me if I even try—so I convinced my wife to join me for a run, a bike date, anything to burn this energy. She pedaled while I ran alongside her, and it turned out to be... an interesting afternoon, to say the least. We climbed this unforgiving hill—Mickey Mouse mountain, we call it. Her breath was sharp and shallow, legs burning as she cursed the incline. But at the peak, something shifted. We stopped, caught in a moment of silence, because the view—that view—demanded it. The light bathed everything in orange, this radiant, vitamin D-filled light that swallowed up the horizon. Perfect doesn’t even capture it; we just let ourselves be, completely surrendered to that place. I took a picture, but it didn’t come close to doing it justice. There’s something about staring at a scene like that, where nothing else matters—no thoughts, no worries—just the overwhelming orange.

I don’t even know how to explain it. How do you describe a feeling like that? It was... orange.

Yeah, orange.

That’s the only word that works.

The whole thing just was. This brilliant, melting orange that felt like it could consume me—if I let it, I’d disappear into the orangeness, happily. My wife swore it was golden-yellow, but no, I’m sure. It was orange.

I told her I could taste it, that I could eat up the remaining bits of daylight, let it dissolve on my tongue without losing a single drop of it.

But she didn’t get it.

We wrapped up the day with music—Serj Tankian’s voice poured through my iPod Shuffle. His song, Ching Chime, spilled over the silence with its haunting lyrics:

“Open your eyes don't be this way 

Though all your dreams are swept away 

The stairs will rise from yesterday 

Your tears and fears all melt away 

The waters will rush but don't dismay 

Our smiles will cross the world will stay 

The bridge has crossed itself today 

Now close your eyes and sway the sway, 

sway the sway”

It was beautiful... 

it was everything... 

It was ineffable.

And yeah, it was orange.

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