Fragments of the Quiet Mind

Today, I learned that … In the company of fools and in trying to make your point be understood by them is as futile as forcing a pig to fly. Never underestimate the ingenuity of fools, or you’ll end up sounding like a total moron. Helping colleagues with their messes will only make your boss call you in her office and give you an hour sermon about responsibility, indifference and how altruism is in fact defined as stupidity. Overthinking is the universe's way of saying “Have a coffee with a friend.” a simple thank you from your colleagues whose asses you just saved despite being scolded by your blood thirsty boss is somewhat soothing. in the silence of the remaining hour at work, uttering a short grateful prayer brings back an equal amount of pain and bliss. a stick on pad with a sunflower and a sun god drawing on it can make a downhearted soul be hopeful. life is full of surprises, the person you don’t expect to be there when you need someone to talk to happens to be the perso...

It’s my first day at work and I fussily spent it with the usual ‘assessment’ of the place. It’s a new environment, new chair and table, new bosses and new ‘work mates’. I painstakingly learned a lot from the past (and learned things the hard way!) and from that, I made a promise to myself that I will be ME this time. I will kill the remaining esoteric thoughts, and my sole concern now is to be able to be me as me without the masks.  I am so used into creating an image to make conversations bearable, but this time, I won’t do that. I want to be like water, least resistance – not influencing people at all… I want to be able to seep through cracks, flow through fingers, can’t be held and yet, firm enough to lift a boat. I will no longer try and climb walls just to see what’s on the other side, rather, I’d stupidly bash my head on that wall and secretly bleed. It sucks to do something that your heart isn’t really into, but the problem with the heart is that it ‘misleads’ people i...

I can feel it again—the manic energy creeping in.  My mind races, irrational thoughts spinning like a wheel with no brake, teeth grinding without reason, muscles twitching on their own, and these smiles... smiles that have no reason to exist. Maybe it’s just the anxiety for tomorrow’s competition. I wish I could relax, but there’s a restlessness building inside me, impossible to ignore.  I’m so nervous... it’s a mess... whew. Sitting still feels like a trap—like paranoia gnawing at me if I even try—so I convinced my wife to join me for a run, a bike date, anything to burn this energy. She pedaled while I ran alongside her, and it turned out to be... an interesting afternoon, to say the least. We climbed this unforgiving hill—Mickey Mouse mountain, we call it. Her breath was sharp and shallow, legs burning as she cursed the incline. But at the peak, something shifted. We stopped, caught in a moment of silence, because the view—that view—demanded it. The light bathed everythin...

Habang ako’y nagbrobrowse ng facebook, napansin ko na madami pala akong former students na gragraduate na ngayon. Magkahalong lungkot at tuwa ang naramdaman ko. Lungkot, dahil nakakamiss din sila gaano man ka nonsense kanilang pag iisip minsan, at tuwa dahil makakamtan na nila ang papel at titulong kanilang pinaghirapan. Napansin kong karamihan sa kanila ay may mataas na pangarap. Irrational sense of optimism, and I admire them for that. Sana ay patuloy nilang payabungin ito, tulad ng pag aaruga sa isang halaman. Ang mga pangarap ay kailangang diligan, alagaan, itanim sa lugar na fertile ang lupa upang maging firm ang kanilang mga ugat at higit sa lahat, importante din ang ‘trimming’ o pagtatanggal ng mga dahon na tuyot o di kaya’y nabubulok na upang di mahawa yung healthy part ng halaman. Sa madaling salita, dapat nilang malaman kung ano ang mga mahahalagang ideyang natutunan nila sa unibersidad na maaari nilang i-apply sa real world. Tulad ng halaman, di lahat ng mga seeds na itina...

5:16 am Thoughts from yesterday: I still have 1 hour 25 minutes left before work, and I don’t feel like staying at the office  so I decided to walk.  It was a simple walk to enjoy walking,  no direction,  no conscious goal ,  just a walk to kill time.   In walking you tend to have a deeper understanding of things...  It provides one the opportunity to converse with the self,  having furrow of topics , rising and falling ideas,  from light to serious ones, I am definitely damned to this. In approximately 15 meters from where I sit,  I can see moon dandelions blooming. Though I am not pretty sure if that's what they are called because I call the white ones moon dandelions and I call the yellow ones sun dandelions. It is perhaps from a dormant memory from the past, I remember someone telling me this and we both coined up the term. Anyway, Most people would see them as mere weeds. But I see them as wishes. And I'm goin there now, b...

Stubborn muse crushing the silence, Ostracizing a poets choice for subsidence. Rummaging within deeply settled thoughts, Restoring the pain from a fight long lost. Yearning for peace in Moira’s cruel world, But tranquility is nothing but an illusion hurled. Under the comfort of a memory he cowers, Tacitly tending to a wounded promise of ‘forever’. Deadly poison drank at a hidden park of bliss, Arduous passions trapped in a labyrinthine abyss. Requiems from a pink flying unicorn dinosaur, Nestled memory of a silvery moon restored. Irritating Cheshire re-creating a suspended story plot, Making the poet think of that tiny green dot. Macrocosmic tel-pad retention topped with coffee, Ineffable pancakes and Sapio-sexuality… Synchronicity ascertained on an abandoned soul tree, Stellar contingency, and the usual “Stop saying sorry!”, (^__^) Irrational belief in the numbers 12 and 7, Never ending shouts to CB in heaven. Golden snails and metal butterfly wings, Yellow caterpillars, ...

Horizon darkened by clouds, majestically hovering high as it hides the darkness of outer space. I see the sad eyes of eternity looking back at me with consolation, as if she feels my grief. Living in an utterly void existence for the past couple of months without doing anything or saying anything is starting to backfire. I feel succumbed to the painful liquid memories of yesterday. Trying to reach for that last drop of hope as I am trying to steal an elixir from the heavens, but how can one mortal manipulate the gods? In my spot I see the vicious whiplash of the misty wind as it shakes my garden. The trembling lightning looks like strobe lights from the sky dancing in an overture to a long orchestra of nothing but loud reverberations and crashes. They are like kids, playfully jumping from one cloud to another. I am seduced with the scene as I try so hard to capture one bolt released from Zeus’ majestic hand with my phone cam. My thoughts are drowning with the rain as my voice is ove...

Godly   skies are slowly breaking, eliminating the sun’s final breath, night-time visions, hope starts rising elude now from your nestled   crest ! Marveling   at this ghostly scene, yet still I think of my lunar   kin , lost   in the labyrinth of tessellation, unable to solve this mazes delusion. No rest for the wicked as what they say, again, the song of the moon made me astray. rock me in thy perfect   harmony , kill   me with thy notes done vaguely, In a mantra filled with agony, nocturnal tunes crafted out of fantasy. deathless rhythm in euphoric moon beams, reciting incantations as surreal as dreams, Every sound and resonance i see; do not dare wonder, this is my   reality ! the   world of sounds i see through my eyes, hark not science, heed your paradise, Alter how the laws of physics drudge, not by reason but by your hearts nudge. kaleidoscopic thoughts be gone with the melody, singing a b...