Fragments of the Quiet Mind

There’s a specific kind of shame I feel when I’m not doing anything. Not just laziness. Not procrastination. Something quieter. Something more existential. Like I’m betraying the invisible boss I carry in my chest. The other day, I laid on my back for an hour. Just... laid there. No productivity podcast humming in the background. No stretching to justify it as “restorative.” I watched the ceiling peel in silence and felt like I was doing something wrong. Like the world was moving without me and I was failing to keep up. The guilt didn’t come from outside—it was internal, insidious. A ghost of every achievement post I’ve ever scrolled through. Because the grind doesn’t clock out. Even when you do. We talk about rest like it’s a reward. A treat after obedience. But I’m starting to think real rest—the unearned kind—is dangerous. At least in a world like this. A world that romanticizes burnout with cute mugs that say “Rise & Grind” and calendars that look more like confessionals...

  I was walking home that evening, the city buzzing around me like a restless beast. The streetlights flickered unevenly, casting long shadows that seemed to stretch just to reach us. Ahead, a girl moved alone, her steps quick but cautious. Then I heard it—voices, low and crude, slicing through the hum of the night. A group of boys, laughing and shouting lewd remarks, their words sharp and unwanted like a sudden gust of cold wind. The girl didn’t stop. She didn’t even glance back. But the air between us shifted. That noise—cheap, careless—was enough to freeze the moment, to make the invisible weight of the streets tangible. I saw her tighten her shoulders, quicken her pace, vanish into the shadows faster than before. Something inside me snapped. I walked up to the boys, my voice low but steady, making sure they knew their game wasn’t welcome here. They faltered, surprise flickering in their eyes, shadows retreating as the tension thickened. The girl looked at me, gratitude soften...

I used to think growing up meant becoming some grand, polished version of yourself—the one your childhood self would cheer for, maybe even brag about at recess. But here I am, ordering my third cup of coffee at 9 PM, staring blankly at a screen, and wondering if I’ve just been winging adulthood all along. Growing up is realizing you’re your own unpaid intern. Turns out, the kid inside me would side-eye this version pretty hard. Not because I gave up on dreams, but because I forgot how to be recklessly hopeful. The fearless wonder? Buried under endless to-do lists and a growing collection of "shoulds" I didn’t even know I agreed to. Hope is the most expensive habit with the worst Return of Investment. But here’s the twist: maybe that side-eye is a good thing. Maybe it’s the universe’s way of reminding me that I’m still in progress. The kid’s shock is just a mirror—reflecting not failure, but the distance traveled. Sometimes the only thing growing faster than you is your coll...

I used to believe faith was a steady flame handed down—warmth that sheltered me from the cold winds of doubt. It was a map drawn by hands older than mine, with clear roads, familiar landmarks, and promises stitched into the sky. I carried it like armor and sanctuary, the kind you don’t question because it’s part of your bones. But growing up is learning to step outside that light and see the shadows it cast. The edges blur. The roads fork. The promises twist in ways you never expected. Outgrowing faith isn’t a clean break. It’s a slow peeling back, a quiet unlearning, an ache that feels like betrayal and freedom all at once. It’s realizing that what once protected you may now confine you. That your soul, hungry for something deeper, refuses to be tethered to the stories you were told. I see now that faith is less about certainty and more about courage—the courage to face the unknown without the safety net of old truths. It’s a paradox: losing belief but not losing hope. Letting go b...

Minsan napapaisip at napapatanong ako na sa paglikha ba ng art, music, or sa pagsusulat e mas naihahayag natin ang tunay na concept ng kalayaan? Di ba sa ARTS as a whole eh walang limitasyon, walang hindrances ng policies at laws, kundi guided tayo ng ating mga ideya lang. Kahit na ang ating mundo ay puno ng difficulties, insecurities and absence ng certainty, sa paglikha ay nadadama natin ang kalayaan at dito, pwede tauong magpakalunod sa mga emotions na tanging art lamang ang kayang mag express. Malaya ang taong gawin ang kanyang nanaisin,  Subalit hindi rin maiiwasan na sa kalayaang yan eh merong mga bagay na nagagawa at mga salitang nabibitawan na nagdudulot ng pain at difficulties sa ibang tao. Eto ang dahilan kung bakit marami din ang nagsasabing kailangan nating ic ontrol ang ating kalayaan dahil baka meron taong nasasaktan sa ating mga pinagsasabi or pinag gagawa. Basic civility , ika nga.  Pero di naman din ibig sabihin nito na kailangang manahimik ka na lang at ta...

I don't believe in the 5 second rule. I’m anal about germs and bacteria and I fear what could happen to me if I were to pick up a food that fell on the ground and eat it. Most people usually say that it’s okay as long as you do it within 5 seconds (hence the 5 seconds rule.)  People have always bugged and nagged me about it. They usually make fun of my OCD-ish attitude regarding germs. I really dunno if they're just being practical, they want to mess up with me or they're just plain scavenger (slapsoils) ps. pun intended Anyway, this morning, I opened the fridge and saw the box of choco-truffles that my sister sent me and oh boy! CHOCOLATES are my addiction (besides nicotine and caffeine). When I opened the box there were 2 pieces left. Personally, I always save the best for last and so I ate the smaller truffle first. It was heavenly and I was savoring the taste as I closed my eyes and tried to sense the dark chocolate slowly melting inside my mouth as my tongue was savor...

I was fourth in line, staring at the back of a denim jacket and pretending not to read the pastries twice. The man ahead of me kept adjusting his AirPods. I kept adjusting my thoughts. The café was full of the usual late afternoon static—laptop clatter, jazz no one listens to, baristas calling names like incantations. I ordered my coffee—black, no room—and moved to the pick-up area like someone playing a role they knew too well. That’s when I noticed the girl by the window. Not looking outside, not reading, not even pretending to. Just holding her phone up to her face—slow, deliberate, as if asking permission from her own image. A few filters later, her features glowed. Skin blurred to impossibility. Eyes enlarged just enough to seem slightly haunted. The picture looked nothing like the girl I was watching. But she smiled at it. Not vainly. Almost gratefully. I don’t use filters—not out of principle, just confusion. I can never find the right one. Nothing ever feels like me. Or ma...

Last night, I was having the usual neurotic fixation with the moon. I was talking to her, admiring her light and beauty… but to my dismay, the clouds covered her up and it felt like the moon decided to close her doors on me. In a couple of minutes more, the rain started to fall. I guess it’s her tears… I guess it’s her way of pouring out her sadness… It must be pretty lonely up there, shining her light to people so they may find their way out of the dark night, sending romantic moonbeams to lovers in love and soothing crushed souls with her consoling silvery luminescence. It’s like the moon have these invisible arms that hug people in despair (hug me!)… but the ironic thing is that, is there someone out there who embraces her back? Is there something that consoles her as well? Does she receive appreciation with those romantic beams that she so willingly give? And this is what I’m doing. Trying to give something back to her… I maybe an insignificant speck of dust in this vast universe...

It was 3:17 PM when I realized I wasn’t tired—I was just bored. I had no one to blame. Not the deadlines. Not the caffeine crash. Not even the algorithm. Just me. Sitting there. Staring at a blinking cursor that wasn’t judging me, but it also wasn’t applauding. It just blinked. Patiently. Indifferently. Like it knew I’d try to run. So I did what I always do. Opened another tab. Made another cup of coffee I didn’t want. Pretended I needed to check something. I scrolled. I organized files I’d never open again. I looked productive. But all I was really doing was hiding—from a silence I had no excuse not to face. I used to think the opposite of burnout was inspiration. That if I could just land on the right idea, feel that electric pull toward something meaningful, I’d be okay. I didn’t realize I was skipping the part where nothing happens. The quiet middle. The unsponsored, unposted moment where you have to sit in your own skin without any applause for existing. Burnout, at least, mak...

It always starts with fabric. Not the fabric of culture or kindness—no, the literal kind. The kind stitched into skirts, cropped into tops, wrapped or not wrapped around skin. Because apparently, what you wear is the consent you forgot to give. And how convenient—how comfortingly lazy—that makes things for those too bored to question their own entitlement. I've overheard it in barber shops, read it in comment sections, seen it slide past like an afterthought in Sunday dinner conversations: “Eh, kasi naman, tingnan mo suot.” As if cloth is code. As if cotton speaks clearer than the person wearing it. We have managed to build an entire theology around knees, a doctrine around waistlines, an ethical system that begins and ends at the neckline. And the sermons are always the same: If you don’t want to be looked at, don’t be visible. But here's a thought: maybe the problem isn’t that we’re showing too much skin—it’s that some people were never taught to look at skin and see ...

It hit me in the middle of a Tuesday, eating reheated sinigang beside a cracked window and a dying plant I no longer had the guilt to water. The sun had that lazy 3PM slant, and for once, I didn’t feel the need to conquer anything. No new goal. No side hustle. No "next big thing." Just soup, soft silence, and the soft rot of my once-capitalized ambition. Once upon a time, I was starving for more—more recognition, more meaning, more numbers that moved up. I used to equate stillness with failure. Rest with regression. I wore burnout like a badge. I treated exhaustion like proof of my importance. They don’t tell you that ambition, unchecked, is just a prettier name for self-erasure. You wake up one day and realize you’ve been chasing a version of yourself that exists only in PowerPoint slides and LinkedIn bios. The cult of “potential” doesn’t believe in sabbath. It demands worship. Metrics. Motion. A productivity app for your soul. But what if I told you the most rebelli...

After a long hike, when every step has chipped away at my energy, I finally sit down to send a message. The phone screen glows faintly—10% battery remaining. Not enough for comfort, but enough to reach out. In this small digital window, I grasp a tenuous connection to something larger than myself. There’s a peculiar irony in how much attention we pay to these lifeless numbers—percentages that dictate the limits of our communication, our connection, our presence. We monitor the battery like it’s a metaphor for our own emotional reserves, a visible measure of something invisible and infinitely more complex. In an age where connectivity is assumed, where distance is bridged by pixels and signals, it’s striking how often we feel disconnected from ourselves. Our phones warn us of dwindling power, but who warns us when our capacity to engage, to care, to truly be present, begins to fade? The battery percentage is a daily reminder that everything—attention, affection, patience—has limits. We ...