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Showing posts from June, 2014

Scars

4:30… An image of yesterday keeps recurring on this eternal present as I sit on this plank that looks like a bench in my park. It used to be our park, but now it’s just mine. In not so far away from where I sit, I see images of how we used to be. Images so clear and etched in my memories that the gravity of my thoughts and emotions forces it to appear in the present...  Very light drizzles of rain are pouring down but the good thing is that the soul tree is there to somewhat shade me from the frosty drizzles. Majestic tree, I thank thee eternally. I called in sick today, not that I am physically sick – but my brain and heart are crazily spiraling inside me. I am sick in my soul and it is no less better than any physical disease there is. Anyway, I already told my boss of my plan and it really doesn’t matter anymore if I still adhere to policies or not. Nothing matters anyway. While I was lost in my thoughts, Scars on Broadway started playing in my ipod… The classic guitar pluc...

For Those Who Are Fighting

In the depths of your spirit, a blazing inferno roars, A tempestuous flame, yearning to explore, Yet weariness ensnares you, a suffocating shroud, From years entrenched in survival's merciless crowd. You're not lazy, devoid of drive, nor ensnared in plight, Banish such thoughts, let your spirit ignite, For within your weary soul, lies a dormant might, Waiting for its moment to unleash and take flight. Survival's domain, a violent realm it seems, Where relentless battles are fought in shattered dreams, Every day a grueling struggle to cling and cope, And exhaustion descends like an anchor's heavy slope. But know this kindred, there's a difference here, Between weariness and a spirit held clear, You've weathered storms and faced your fears, Now it's time to rest, to dry your tears. The world may whisper, "Keep moving, don't cease," But listen closely, find your inner peace, You've earned this respite, this moment of pause, To heal your wounds...

Thursdays

Thursdays…  I usually call it the mediocre day. It's perhaps the most uninteresting day of the week... (and maybe that’s why throwback Thursday was invented to make this day somewhat memorable). It’s pathetic I guess to incorporate luck with the days in a week, but being trapped in a vicious cycle of repetitions, you dwell on things like this for the sole reason of wanting to be motivated in moving further (even without a goal in sight). Doing something that you dislike and sucking big time with it is pretty disappointing. I mean, I once believed that I am special. I thought I was good, but lately, I can’t even do simple things as how they should be done. I know some people would say, “it’s okay”, “you did great” but deep inside me, I know it’s not. It’s really more of a personal dissatisfaction because I know I could have done better and I know I can do better (or maybe I used to do things far better than how I am doing it right now). A lot of questions once again fill my mind. A...

Farewell Moon

Sometimes, there are moments that just hit me, like a sudden gust of memories that reminds me of things I’ve tried to forget and perhaps hide in the compartments of my mind. Also, it’s in the stillness— in these calm, unguarded moments— all of it comes back to life. Before I know it, the weight of those memories hits me, pulling me into a space where I’m left standing at a crossroads, with nostalgia on one side and reality on the other, wondering how I ended up here, caught between what was and what could have been. Chasing dreams sometimes feels like balancing on a knife’s edge, and in the rush, I end up hurting those closest to me without even realizing it. I sometimes get so locked onto the goal that the quiet chaos I left behind slips right past me. It often feels like I am wandering through an endless maze, and with each turn, it feels like I’m losing pieces of the world I once thought I had figured out. What once shimmered with hope now feels distorted and distant. Justice and lo...